Fear of falling is normal. Fear of heights is common. Fear of snakes is natural. the fear of success is hard to classify. Often, we don’t recognize it. Too many times people have walked away from success because they fear the embarrassment of failure. Some successful people are unable to handle their success without chemical scaffolding. They abuse their bodies’ even kill themselves.
There are times when success has come my way and I too felt the pangs of fear. Looking at others and myself, the signs of fear are clear. How do you recognize the fear of success? You are agitated over minor details not being right. You are easily irritated. On top of your sensitivity to criticism, you hide fears by blaming others for your insecurities. Your entire demeanor is one of suspicion and distrust. The fear that others are out to get you because you made it makes you more fearful.
We tell ourselves many stories to hide our fear of success. “I am not going to change the way I look or act. I’m still going to be me. I’m still one of the guys. I got 99 problems and success is not one.” There is nothing wrong with me, anyway?
How can I control my fears? By believing God’s promise, He said, “I am with you, so don’t be fearful (Isa 41:10). The difficulty is how do I turn down the cheering from my ego? “I will help you, I will strengthen you, He said.” My struggles are intensified when I try to stand on the teachings that lifted me when I was still climbing the ladder of success. This, I believe, God gives me power, love, and peace of mind; not fear (2 Tim 1:7).
Is it necessary to get in a depressive mood in order to write? There are many things to write about that does not require mood alteration. There is the exhilaration of climbing Stone Mountain. There is a song that will always lift your spirits. And, there is always a good slice of cheesecake waiting to boost your moods. Sometimes for me, it is a few moments of silence that can pull me from under a rock.
Overused ideas, or slow materializing dreams, and incomplete rewards, will trick you into believing that you are not going to achieve your goals. Your mood changes and you seek a lift. What is there to do when stormy weather enters your life?
After the rain, a puddle of water remains. Pollen covers the hole like a blanket; life is barred from entry. But wait, be patience, for underneath the pollen blanket the earth is nourished and life is growing stronger. My dreams may sink into a puddle of doubt. That is when a good slice of cheesecake could change my perspectives. I live off the reassurance that I hold the hand of the divine. Slow and incomplete is the fulfilling of all my tomorrows. In the puddle of water, seeds of life begin the journey to reality and beauty. They stick their heads above the scum long enough to blossom and encourage me to travel on.
Thanks, Lord, for the huge rainbow that crosses the eastern sky and as I get closer to home it appeared to sit on my soul. When I turned into my driveway, the Rainbow is no longer visible. All that was left was little reassurances that I must go on. Rarely are my dreams fulfilled without divine stimulation. Now I know it is not necessary to get in a depressive mood in order to write.
What I need is a good slice of cheesecake will end the slump if and when it comes.